Bloody horoscope

Hah, horoscope! Nobody believes in the bloody thing, right?

Astrology. I just imagine some weirdo wearing a pointy purple hat with some stars on it (made out of aluminium foil of course). Isn't that the kind of thing that comes in some weird TV channels at some weird hours? Who listens to them anyway?

When I was in primary school there was this kid in my class who was born exactly in the same day than me. Based on that, there's no way in hell that this whole horoscope business works. I was tall, he was short, I was shy, he was funny, I was a good student (a nerd) he wasn't (he wasn't): how can we have the same horoscope?

And then there are those smart asses using it as pick up lines. "Uh, you're scorpio, I'm aries. We're a perfect match!" and that's the moment she walks away. Or those that go "You're capricorn! So you are stable, don't like violence and like nice people". He's just saying that you're either a capricorn or a psychopath.

And then there are those horoscope section in newspaper. Nobody cares, but everybody reads. And, oh, if they say something positive then go for it! "Good day for investments", well it's Sunday. Some are more difficult to understand. "The crescent moon is visiting the sign, while the influence of Jupiter in conjunction with the Sun will affect it inversely". Wow, I wasn't planning to leave home, and now there this whole planetary trip? No sense at all.

But then the funny thing happend. Wifey told me that there is a new zodiac sign. What!? Apparently something called ophiuchus just made it into the zodiac. And then the bombshell: "you're not a Taurus anymore, you're Aries now". Noooooooo! Panic, havoc! What do you mean Aries? I am very Taurus, stubborn, earthy, the whole lot! I can't be an Aries! How silly was that? I couldn't care less about this pseudo-thingie which is astrology, but don't take the Taurus out of my life!

The good news? There are still only 12 zodiac signs. This whole ophiuchus business is a different story. It's a constellation, not a sign. Apparently it is something that periodically pops up and goes away. And why am I telling you this? Because I know that even if you don't care, you actually do. A bit.

A stubborn Taurus.